You know you’re getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. Anonymous Age, Aging, Funny, Middle Age You May Also Like A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say. By Finley Peter Dunne Funny, Public speaking Freedom is just chaos, with better lighting. By ALAN DEAN FOSTER Freedom, Funny Age wins and one must learn to grow old. By Diana Cooper Age, Aging, Life, Old age, Positive The whole world is about three drinks behind. By Humphrey Bogart Drink, Funny To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. By Anonymous Engineering, Engineers, Funny, Wisdom If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it. By W. C. Fields Funny You May Also Like from Anonymous Mighty oaks from little acorns grow. By Anonymous Daily quotes, Motivational, Potential, Uplifting The masochist turned to the sadist and begged, “Beat me, beat me.” The sadist smiled, and said, “No.” By Anonymous Pleasure An actress told Bob Hope she was “approaching forty.” The comedian couldn’t help wondering from what direction. By Anonymous Age, Aging, Funny, Middle Age Think with the wise, but talk to the vulgar. By Anonymous Thinking, Thought, Wise Be careful what you hope for—you might get it. By Anonymous Hope A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure. By Anonymous Crisis, Daily quotes, Positive, Pressure, Stress
A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say. By Finley Peter Dunne Funny, Public speaking
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. By Anonymous Engineering, Engineers, Funny, Wisdom
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it. By W. C. Fields Funny
The masochist turned to the sadist and begged, “Beat me, beat me.” The sadist smiled, and said, “No.” By Anonymous Pleasure
An actress told Bob Hope she was “approaching forty.” The comedian couldn’t help wondering from what direction. By Anonymous Age, Aging, Funny, Middle Age
A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure. By Anonymous Crisis, Daily quotes, Positive, Pressure, Stress
