You know you’re getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. Anonymous Age, Aging, Funny, Middle Age You May Also Like If only I had a little humility, I would be perfect. By Ted Turner (attrib.) Egotism, Funny, Narcissism If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose. By Anonymous Funny, Intelligence Every American thinks he’s alone on the continent. By Philip Slater Funny, Marketing Nothing is ever accomplished by committee unless it consists of three members, one of who happens to be sick and the other absent. By HENDRIK VAN LOON Committee, Decision making, Funny, Time waste What’s the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What’s the second? Tautology. What’s the third? Tautology. By Richard Steele Funny, Law, Lawyer, Sarcastic I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. By Barry Gray Funny, Health, Healthy living, Sport You May Also Like from Anonymous He who hesitates is lost. By Anonymous Decision, Indecision Anyone’s a fool who doesn’t try to live up to his dreams and abilities. By Anonymous Dreams, Inspirational, Positive, Potential, Uplifting You can’t wait to buy a parachute when you need one. By Anonymous Insurance, Wisdom, Wise In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. By Anonymous Motivational, Optimist, Pessimist, Uplifting A fat purse never lacks friends. By Anonymous Economics, Friends, Friendship, Sarcastic, Wealth No opportunity is ever lost. Someone else seizes the ones you missed. By Anonymous Opportunity, Wise
If only I had a little humility, I would be perfect. By Ted Turner (attrib.) Egotism, Funny, Narcissism
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose. By Anonymous Funny, Intelligence
Nothing is ever accomplished by committee unless it consists of three members, one of who happens to be sick and the other absent. By HENDRIK VAN LOON Committee, Decision making, Funny, Time waste
What’s the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What’s the second? Tautology. What’s the third? Tautology. By Richard Steele Funny, Law, Lawyer, Sarcastic
I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. By Barry Gray Funny, Health, Healthy living, Sport
Anyone’s a fool who doesn’t try to live up to his dreams and abilities. By Anonymous Dreams, Inspirational, Positive, Potential, Uplifting
In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. By Anonymous Motivational, Optimist, Pessimist, Uplifting
