After my screen test, the director clapped his hands gleefully and yelled, “She can’t talk! She can’t act! She’s sensational!” Ava Gardner Funny, Light, Talent You May Also Like You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you knew how seldom they do. By Olin Miller Egotism, Funny, Wise If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose. By Anonymous Funny, Intelligence We are both great men, but I have succeeded better in keeping it a profound secret than he has. By Bill Nye Funny Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. By Hector Louis Berlioz Death, Education, Funny, Time, Timing Credit is a system whereby a person who can’t pay gets another person who can’t pay to guarantee that he can pay. By Charles Dickens Credit, Economics, Funny, Sarcastic Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don’t know which half. By John Wanamaker (attrib.) Advertising, Funny, Sarcastic
You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you knew how seldom they do. By Olin Miller Egotism, Funny, Wise
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose. By Anonymous Funny, Intelligence
We are both great men, but I have succeeded better in keeping it a profound secret than he has. By Bill Nye Funny
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. By Hector Louis Berlioz Death, Education, Funny, Time, Timing
Credit is a system whereby a person who can’t pay gets another person who can’t pay to guarantee that he can pay. By Charles Dickens Credit, Economics, Funny, Sarcastic
Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don’t know which half. By John Wanamaker (attrib.) Advertising, Funny, Sarcastic
