I’m opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. Mark Twain Funny You May Also Like Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules: Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner. Be as vague as possible: this avoids irritating the others. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed. By Harry Chapman Business, Committees, Doubt, Funny, Sarcastic I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. By Jane Austen Agreeable, Funny A man doesn’t live by bread alone. He needs buttering up once in a while. By Robert H. Henry Funny, Praise It’s not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid—it’s the bum steers. By Chuck Hillis Business, Funny Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. By Hector Louis Berlioz Death, Education, Funny, Time, Timing The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. By John Maynard Keynes Funny, Intellectual, Taxes You May Also Like from Mark Twain Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. By Mark Twain Bragging, Funny, Quotable I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much of it. By Mark Twain Ignorance, Stupidity Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. By Mark Twain Embarrassment, Emotions To eat is human, to digest, divine. By Mark Twain Diet, Food By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. By Mark Twain Adversity Be good and you will be lonesome. By Mark Twain Loneliness, Solitude
Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules: Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner. Be as vague as possible: this avoids irritating the others. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed. By Harry Chapman Business, Committees, Doubt, Funny, Sarcastic
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. By Jane Austen Agreeable, Funny
A man doesn’t live by bread alone. He needs buttering up once in a while. By Robert H. Henry Funny, Praise
It’s not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid—it’s the bum steers. By Chuck Hillis Business, Funny
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. By Hector Louis Berlioz Death, Education, Funny, Time, Timing
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. By John Maynard Keynes Funny, Intellectual, Taxes
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. By Mark Twain Bragging, Funny, Quotable
I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much of it. By Mark Twain Ignorance, Stupidity